IC Contact

[makethemguilty]

 

[A pleasant-sounding woman's voice will answer your call, telling you who you had the misfortune of dialing. "Hello, you have reached (and there his own demonic voice will be heard): «Manfred von Karma». Please leave a message after the tone."]

 

Comments

[text]

[shifting]

The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

[text]

[makethemguilty]

[Frowning so hard at this. What in the world...?]

Whoever you are, I suggest seeking mental counsel. What is more, stop sending me ridiculous messages.

[And thus, unwittingly he is going to be sending viral messages to five other people.]

[text]

[shifting]

Sorry, it's a virus, I didn't mean to send anything. I don't even know who you are.

[text]

[makethemguilty]

Virus? Explain. And I should hope that is the case.

[If he's being pranked as a result of Edgeworth, Franziska, or any one of their associates he's going to be most displeased.]

[text]

[shifting]

I don't know. something is going around sending people random messages, but making it look like it comes from other people's nv's.

text | nv virus

[cheerhealer]

He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

text | nv virus

[makethemguilty]

...Cease and desist from contacting me or I will file a harassment suit.

text | nv virus

[cheerhealer]

sorry its some weird virus that got in my nv.

text | nv virus

[makethemguilty]

And now my device has contracted it. How irritating.

text | nv virus

[cheerhealer]

very irritating

I'm not sorry for this one I stumbled across either. :|

[whippings]

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Viral text Fwd.

[makethemguilty]

[Hmph. Forwards the text back to her. See what horrible virus lies you're spreading? >8| ]

... Well played, Dad. B|

[whippings]

[Second hurtful text message received from father in past 24 hours: check.]

Is this that virus again?

Re: ... Well played, Dad. B|

[makethemguilty]

[Suck it up. He didn't teach you to wail and cry like a juvenile.]

It's what you sent to me. Proof that your device has been infected.

[whippings]

[Well, good for you, because she's not crying.]

I'm in the process of acquiring a more effective anti-virus.

[As soon as she sends the text she wonders if she shouldn't have; what need does she have to prove herself to the likes of him any more?]

text

[ergomaniac]

You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

text

[makethemguilty]

[These things were getting more and more bizarre...Not to mention ridiculous.]

Refrain from opening strange looking messages in the future.

[Text] | NV Virus | Yesterday

[not_the_dreck]

She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"

[Text] | NV Virus | Yesterday

[makethemguilty]

...Whoever the recipient of this message you meant to send this to has been sent to me instead by mistake. Unless it's another strain of that network virus, in which case I would get your NV checked.

[Text] | NV Virus | Yesterday

[not_the_dreck]

Virus? How can a network get a virus? And do I want to know what I "sent"?

[Poor guy. Has no idea how technology can get screwed up.]

[Text] | NV Virus | Yesterday

[makethemguilty]

[Sigh. Does he have to explain? He doesn't have someone like the Judge to do it for him, so he supposes he'll have to educate the...ignorant.]

It is a kind of program designed by those with far too much time on their hands to spread via NV to NV. By exploiting security vulnerabilities it spreads itself automatically to other NVs through networks, in this case the common one by which Newcomers communicate.

The purpose of which, I have deduced, is more or less nonsensical and therefore annoying.

[Forwards the text that was sent:]

She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"

[ text ]

[integra_hellsing]

Mr. von Karma,

My name is Sir Integra Hellsing and I have been given your name by one Tonegawa Yukio. I am in need of a lawyer to draw up a will for me, and he said that you would do an excellent job.

If you are not available to do so, I completely understand. Thank you for your time.


-Sir Integra Hellsing

[ text ] 31st. Morning.

[makethemguilty]

[Tonegawa...It's been a little while since he's heard that name. He'd liked the man well enough, however. And to think that he was being recommended was reason enough...To that end, that surname....]

Sir Integra: Are you well enough to travel?

...Hellsing. I believe I know that name. Are you related to Abraham van Helsing?

[ text ] 31st. Morning.

[integra_hellsing]

As of right now, no, but I am willing to attempt to travel if you require me to do so.

Yes, Abraham van Helsing is my grandfather.

[ text ]

[makethemguilty]

No. Travel will not be required. I am familiar with your household, Miss Hellsing. Your grandfather and I are acquainted. What is more, I assure you, my services will be discreet, professional, and perfect. Nothing less.

[He also owed Abraham still...He'd been very hospitable to him in the past.]

State a time, and I shall be there.